Thursday, November 26, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
How to leave a room
How to Exit a Room Like a Man
from The Art of Manliness by Brett & Kate McKay
18 people liked this
leaving
You’re at a party. Maybe someone made you go, cornered you at work or school and you couldn’t think of an excuse fast enough to dodge the invitation. Or perhaps you showed up to a social event that held the promise of being a fun shindig, but after listening for 20 minutes to a lady explain the pros and cons of buying an Accord over a Camry and being forced into a conga line against your will, all you want to do is make like a baby and head out. A lot of men find themselves trapped in these kinds of situations, wanting to stick a pencil in their eye but afraid to make an escape attempt.
We’ve discussed how to command a room like a man, but how do you leave a room like a man?
While you’ve surely heard about the importance of making a dynamite first impression, leaving a classy last impression is just as important. Studies have shown that people most clearly remember the end of an experience, not the beginning. Thus, you want to be able to exit a social event on your own terms, but you also want to leave the host and fellow guests saying, “Dang, I like that guy!”
So how do you leave a social event without being awkward and offending your host? And how do you make sure people remember you fondly?
Below, we set out some guidelines so you can leave a social event with confidence and class.
1. Know when to leave. No matter how smoothly you do it, it’s impossible to leave a social event politely if you exit at the wrong time. Even if you know the party is a disaster from the minute you walk in, you have to put in minimum cameo time. For a come and go kind of function, this minimum is about an hour. At a dinner party, this comes after the after-dinner coffee has been served. If you need to leave before these times for an important reason, tell the host or hostess as soon as you arrive. But generally, if you can’t make it for the minimum cameo time, it’s better not to come at all. It’s awkward to leave in the middle of dinner or to circle the room once before exiting back out the door. Your first and last impression will be one in the same, and not a very good one at that.
Once the minimum time has been met, either wait to make your exit as the party starts winding down or, if you’re having a terrible time, simply make the executive decision to get the heck out of dodge.
2. Stand up. When they feel it’s time to leave, most folks start to squirm in their seat and say things like, “Weeelll…. it’s getting late.” Then they just keep on sitting on their duffs looking awkwardly at their watch. Don’t dilly dally. If you’re ready to leave, then show that you are. Standing up shows you’re committed to leaving.
Now, don’t be abrupt about it. That’s just as awkward as squirming in your seat and looking side-to-side for a means to escape. Stand-up smoothly and confidently. While you’re standing, simply say, “Well I must be leaving.” Never give an excuse for why you have to leave. An excuse can make your hostess feel unimportant and force you to sheepishly explain yourself all the way to the door.
If you want to be particularly suave about your transition from sitting to standing, try this trick. When you’re ready to leave, wait for a pause in the conversation and start a short story. Make it an engrossing, entertaining story. You want to leave them laughing. As you tell the story, start standing up. You can even start putting on your coat and hat as you spin your yarn. Walk next to your host when you reach the story’s climax. Give a quick wink to the group, and…
3. Hold out your hand. Alright, you’re standing up. What do you do now? This is a crucial moment. If you don’t continue on your path towards the door, your host and the other guests will likely start wrapping their tentacles around you to hold you hostage for another round of Parcheesi.
As soon as you’re on your feet, offer your hand to your host. Give a good firm handshake. If appropriate, offer a man hug or kiss on the cheek if it’s a lady or a European dude. Most people who are socially adept will see that you’re serious about leaving and will usher you to the door and see you out. However, some people will still try to get you to stay.
4. Say “Thanks!” and “Goodbye.”As you’re shaking hands, thank your host or whoever you’re with for the hospitality and the conversation. Look them in the eyes, give them a big smile, and compliment the host on something specific you enjoyed about the evening. “Thank you for dinner! Your pumpkin pie is the best I’ve ever had!” Give a pleasant “goodbye” or “see you later.” Also, direct your goodbyes to the other people in the group.
5. Gather your things. You don’t want to leave anything that will cause you to come back after you’ve left. This only opens up the chance of getting sucked back into social purgatory. And it bursts the warm memory the host and remaining guests started forming about you as soon as you left. Grab your coat and hat and your wife’s coat and clutch. Make sure you have your cell phones. If you do happen to leave something, wait until tomorrow to come pick it up.
6. Walk to the door with confidence. Inertia can get the best of a man at this point. If you don’t start walking towards the door, you might find yourself sitting back down. Once you make your move to the door, do so with confidence and determination. Don’t stop to admire Grandma’s china cabinet or you risk getting a 10-minute lecture on the cabinet’s history from the Civil War to the present day.
7. Open the door.You’ve reached the door. You’re almost there, but you’re still at risk of having your departure needlessly delayed with awkward chatter. A well-mannered host will open the door for you and see you out. However, some people have either not been taught this bit of courtesy or if they have, they’ve forgotten it. The individuals in the latter group also seem to be the type that will strike up conversations in the doorway for another 15 minutes. If you don’t take matters in your own hands by opening the door, you’re doomed to listen to your wife’s co-worker talk about how she has a busy day making name tags for a convention tomorrow and the eating habits of her cats. If your host doesn’t open the door for you, do it yourself as soon as you reach the door. Once you open the door, step out. Keep your feet planted outside; even if the host continues to talk to you, the inside/outside dichotomy will soon compel them to close the door and send you on your way.
8. Walk away. Say your final goodbyes and pleasantries and walk to your car. Tip your hat (you are wearing a hat, aren’t you?) for the final charming touch. Mission accomplished! A few minutes more and you’ll be back in your man chair, sitting by the fire, and reading The Art of Manliness.
from The Art of Manliness by Brett & Kate McKay
18 people liked this
leaving
You’re at a party. Maybe someone made you go, cornered you at work or school and you couldn’t think of an excuse fast enough to dodge the invitation. Or perhaps you showed up to a social event that held the promise of being a fun shindig, but after listening for 20 minutes to a lady explain the pros and cons of buying an Accord over a Camry and being forced into a conga line against your will, all you want to do is make like a baby and head out. A lot of men find themselves trapped in these kinds of situations, wanting to stick a pencil in their eye but afraid to make an escape attempt.
We’ve discussed how to command a room like a man, but how do you leave a room like a man?
While you’ve surely heard about the importance of making a dynamite first impression, leaving a classy last impression is just as important. Studies have shown that people most clearly remember the end of an experience, not the beginning. Thus, you want to be able to exit a social event on your own terms, but you also want to leave the host and fellow guests saying, “Dang, I like that guy!”
So how do you leave a social event without being awkward and offending your host? And how do you make sure people remember you fondly?
Below, we set out some guidelines so you can leave a social event with confidence and class.
1. Know when to leave. No matter how smoothly you do it, it’s impossible to leave a social event politely if you exit at the wrong time. Even if you know the party is a disaster from the minute you walk in, you have to put in minimum cameo time. For a come and go kind of function, this minimum is about an hour. At a dinner party, this comes after the after-dinner coffee has been served. If you need to leave before these times for an important reason, tell the host or hostess as soon as you arrive. But generally, if you can’t make it for the minimum cameo time, it’s better not to come at all. It’s awkward to leave in the middle of dinner or to circle the room once before exiting back out the door. Your first and last impression will be one in the same, and not a very good one at that.
Once the minimum time has been met, either wait to make your exit as the party starts winding down or, if you’re having a terrible time, simply make the executive decision to get the heck out of dodge.
2. Stand up. When they feel it’s time to leave, most folks start to squirm in their seat and say things like, “Weeelll…. it’s getting late.” Then they just keep on sitting on their duffs looking awkwardly at their watch. Don’t dilly dally. If you’re ready to leave, then show that you are. Standing up shows you’re committed to leaving.
Now, don’t be abrupt about it. That’s just as awkward as squirming in your seat and looking side-to-side for a means to escape. Stand-up smoothly and confidently. While you’re standing, simply say, “Well I must be leaving.” Never give an excuse for why you have to leave. An excuse can make your hostess feel unimportant and force you to sheepishly explain yourself all the way to the door.
If you want to be particularly suave about your transition from sitting to standing, try this trick. When you’re ready to leave, wait for a pause in the conversation and start a short story. Make it an engrossing, entertaining story. You want to leave them laughing. As you tell the story, start standing up. You can even start putting on your coat and hat as you spin your yarn. Walk next to your host when you reach the story’s climax. Give a quick wink to the group, and…
3. Hold out your hand. Alright, you’re standing up. What do you do now? This is a crucial moment. If you don’t continue on your path towards the door, your host and the other guests will likely start wrapping their tentacles around you to hold you hostage for another round of Parcheesi.
As soon as you’re on your feet, offer your hand to your host. Give a good firm handshake. If appropriate, offer a man hug or kiss on the cheek if it’s a lady or a European dude. Most people who are socially adept will see that you’re serious about leaving and will usher you to the door and see you out. However, some people will still try to get you to stay.
4. Say “Thanks!” and “Goodbye.”As you’re shaking hands, thank your host or whoever you’re with for the hospitality and the conversation. Look them in the eyes, give them a big smile, and compliment the host on something specific you enjoyed about the evening. “Thank you for dinner! Your pumpkin pie is the best I’ve ever had!” Give a pleasant “goodbye” or “see you later.” Also, direct your goodbyes to the other people in the group.
5. Gather your things. You don’t want to leave anything that will cause you to come back after you’ve left. This only opens up the chance of getting sucked back into social purgatory. And it bursts the warm memory the host and remaining guests started forming about you as soon as you left. Grab your coat and hat and your wife’s coat and clutch. Make sure you have your cell phones. If you do happen to leave something, wait until tomorrow to come pick it up.
6. Walk to the door with confidence. Inertia can get the best of a man at this point. If you don’t start walking towards the door, you might find yourself sitting back down. Once you make your move to the door, do so with confidence and determination. Don’t stop to admire Grandma’s china cabinet or you risk getting a 10-minute lecture on the cabinet’s history from the Civil War to the present day.
7. Open the door.You’ve reached the door. You’re almost there, but you’re still at risk of having your departure needlessly delayed with awkward chatter. A well-mannered host will open the door for you and see you out. However, some people have either not been taught this bit of courtesy or if they have, they’ve forgotten it. The individuals in the latter group also seem to be the type that will strike up conversations in the doorway for another 15 minutes. If you don’t take matters in your own hands by opening the door, you’re doomed to listen to your wife’s co-worker talk about how she has a busy day making name tags for a convention tomorrow and the eating habits of her cats. If your host doesn’t open the door for you, do it yourself as soon as you reach the door. Once you open the door, step out. Keep your feet planted outside; even if the host continues to talk to you, the inside/outside dichotomy will soon compel them to close the door and send you on your way.
8. Walk away. Say your final goodbyes and pleasantries and walk to your car. Tip your hat (you are wearing a hat, aren’t you?) for the final charming touch. Mission accomplished! A few minutes more and you’ll be back in your man chair, sitting by the fire, and reading The Art of Manliness.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Teaching naked
And more about this here
Articles referenced:
* Bennett, S., Maton, K & Kervin, L. (2008). The Digital Natives Debate: A Critical Review of the Evidence. British Journal of Educational Technology, 39, No. 5, 775-786
* Bullen, M., Belfer, K., Morgan, T. & Qayyum, A. (2008). The Net Generation in Higher Education: Rhetoric and Reality. Paper accepted for publication in the Malaysian Journal of Eduational Technology.
* Howe, N. & Strauss, W. (2000). Millenials Rising: The Next Great Generation. New York: Random House.
* Oblinger, D.G. & Oblinger, J.L. (Eds) (2005). Educating the Net Generation. Boulder, CO: EDUCAUSE.
* Prensky, M. (2001a). Digital Natives, Digital Immigrants. On the Horizon, 9(5)?
* Prensky, M. (2001b ). Digital Natives, Digital Immigrants, Part II; Do They Really Think Differently? On the Horizon, 9(6).?
* Reeves, T. & Oh, E. (2007). Generational Differences. In M. Spector, M. D. Merrill, J. van Merrienboer, & M. P. Driscoll (Eds). The Handbook of Research on Educational Communications and Technology (pp. 296-303).
* Tapscostt, D. (1998). Growing Up Digital: The Rise of the Net Generation. Toronto: McGraw-Hill.
Articles referenced:
* Bennett, S., Maton, K & Kervin, L. (2008). The Digital Natives Debate: A Critical Review of the Evidence. British Journal of Educational Technology, 39, No. 5, 775-786
* Bullen, M., Belfer, K., Morgan, T. & Qayyum, A. (2008). The Net Generation in Higher Education: Rhetoric and Reality. Paper accepted for publication in the Malaysian Journal of Eduational Technology.
* Howe, N. & Strauss, W. (2000). Millenials Rising: The Next Great Generation. New York: Random House.
* Oblinger, D.G. & Oblinger, J.L. (Eds) (2005). Educating the Net Generation. Boulder, CO: EDUCAUSE.
* Prensky, M. (2001a). Digital Natives, Digital Immigrants. On the Horizon, 9(5)?
* Prensky, M. (2001b ). Digital Natives, Digital Immigrants, Part II; Do They Really Think Differently? On the Horizon, 9(6).?
* Reeves, T. & Oh, E. (2007). Generational Differences. In M. Spector, M. D. Merrill, J. van Merrienboer, & M. P. Driscoll (Eds). The Handbook of Research on Educational Communications and Technology (pp. 296-303).
* Tapscostt, D. (1998). Growing Up Digital: The Rise of the Net Generation. Toronto: McGraw-Hill.
The Snark syndrome
The Snark Syndrome and the Net Gen Discourse
In 1993 Eileen Byrne coined the terms the 'Snark Syndrome' and the 'Snark Effect' to describe how educational policymaking and teaching theory in relation to women and science was based on "assertion rather on clear, logical or empirical soundness."
A Snark is the imaginary animal in Lewis Carroll's poem, The Hunting of the Snark:
'Just the place for a Snark!' the Bellman cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each man on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.
'Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have have said thrice:
What I tell you three times is true.'
In Women and Science: The Snark Syndrome, Byrne says about women in science:
"By dint of repetition three times (or thirty), the educational community had internalized an oversimplified and often unscholarly selection of beliefs and premises which had descended to the 'everyone knows that...' level of slogan-like impact."
Thus the Snark Syndrome is the "assertion of an alleged truth or belief or principle as the basis for policymaking or for educational practice, although this proves to have no previous credible base in sound empirical research"
The Snark Effect is the application of the Snark Syndrome to implement specific educational policies and practices.
The Snark Syndrome is clearly at play in the discussions around the Net Generation and education. I have lost track of the number of times I have heard educators repeat the stereotypes about the Net Generation: short attention span, expert mutitaskers, technologically savvy etc etc. Countless Michael Wesch-like You Tube videos are circulating urging us to wake up and change our ways or else risk losing an entire generation of learners who we are failing to engage. The answer, we are told, is more digital technology. We are letting consultants, futurists, technology sales people and others with a limited understanding of education set the agenda. We blindly accept their recommendations and repeat them as fact. The Snark Syndrome may have already led to the Snark Effect but we still have a chance to turn back this uninformed wave and insist that educational policy and practice be based on sound research and theory.
My thanks to Tannis Morgan for pointing us to Eileen Byrne's work: Women in Science: The Snark Syndrome, London, The Falmer Press, 1993.
In 1993 Eileen Byrne coined the terms the 'Snark Syndrome' and the 'Snark Effect' to describe how educational policymaking and teaching theory in relation to women and science was based on "assertion rather on clear, logical or empirical soundness."
A Snark is the imaginary animal in Lewis Carroll's poem, The Hunting of the Snark:
'Just the place for a Snark!' the Bellman cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each man on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.
'Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have have said thrice:
What I tell you three times is true.'
In Women and Science: The Snark Syndrome, Byrne says about women in science:
"By dint of repetition three times (or thirty), the educational community had internalized an oversimplified and often unscholarly selection of beliefs and premises which had descended to the 'everyone knows that...' level of slogan-like impact."
Thus the Snark Syndrome is the "assertion of an alleged truth or belief or principle as the basis for policymaking or for educational practice, although this proves to have no previous credible base in sound empirical research"
The Snark Effect is the application of the Snark Syndrome to implement specific educational policies and practices.
The Snark Syndrome is clearly at play in the discussions around the Net Generation and education. I have lost track of the number of times I have heard educators repeat the stereotypes about the Net Generation: short attention span, expert mutitaskers, technologically savvy etc etc. Countless Michael Wesch-like You Tube videos are circulating urging us to wake up and change our ways or else risk losing an entire generation of learners who we are failing to engage. The answer, we are told, is more digital technology. We are letting consultants, futurists, technology sales people and others with a limited understanding of education set the agenda. We blindly accept their recommendations and repeat them as fact. The Snark Syndrome may have already led to the Snark Effect but we still have a chance to turn back this uninformed wave and insist that educational policy and practice be based on sound research and theory.
My thanks to Tannis Morgan for pointing us to Eileen Byrne's work: Women in Science: The Snark Syndrome, London, The Falmer Press, 1993.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Connectivity & NZ Broadband status
I have been struggling with delivering an online course and the number of technical problems I encounter while trying to produce high quality content. One of the frequent comments from students and teachers is "but some people cannot have broadband - we cannot exclude them". The other comment is to keep content to a minumum because of connectivity problems even with broadband.
This puts my argument rather succinctly. thanks to MacDoctor
New Zealand is a very small country with a spread out population served by an oligopoly of business interests. We already pay well over the odds for a spotty cell phone service and an oversubscribed, slow broadband service. While our telcos are doing a fair amount of investment, they tend to concentrate on city centers, leaving 20-30% of the nation to fend for themselves. I live on a lifestyle property in Auckland that is very close to a large housing estate and yet, up until two years ago, I could not get broadband except via satellite link (a miserable experience!). Even now there are many areas in central Auckland where I can’t get a cell phone signal, let alone a 3G signal. I consider that an abject market failure.
* Consumers are hardly using the speeds and caps available now.
That is because they are too expensive, too restrictive and oversubscribed. I can’t get the maximum speed from my connection most of the time, because contention rates (the number of people on a single line) are too high. So saying that consumers are not using the speed available now is rather like someone taping your mouth up and then commenting that you are not eating enough. And a data cap of 1Gb is tantamount to saying “no downloading or else” - it actively discourages people from using their internet connections for anything more than e-mail and a bit of surfing. It is exactly this restrictive, controlling attitude of Telcos that the broadband policy is aimed at.
* Fibre to the home may prove to be the wrong technology, a Think Big-style white elephant.
This is the same argument as those who put off buying a new computer, because “something better will be along in a few months”. They wind up using ancient, time-wasting old technology out of fear that they won’t have “the latest stuff”. Put this mind-set into the Telco context and we will still be using copper wire while the first world is using quantum oscillation for data transfer.
* And home is where we consume things, not produce them, so the productivity-based arguments are rickety.
I have been struggling dealing with educational beauracrats about online learning. My thinking seems to be like bashing my head agamnist a wall. This article by blogger MacDoctor ? puts my thoughts rather succinctly.
This statement illustrates a serious lack of vision. As bandwidth increases, the number of uses that bandwidth can be put to increases, exponentially. For example, imagine sufficient bandwidth for a full virtual reality school where kids can be taught one-on-one by real teachers, or a VR mall that can be browsed just like the real thing (not the appalingly flat, lifeless attempts of our current constrained bandwidth). It is perfectly feasible that most of our work can be done from home - VR house calls anyone? The decrease in transport cost alone would pay for fibre to the home and there would be the added benefit of a decrease in carbon dioxide emissions. And those are just a couple of ideas off the top of my head.
We have been using the buzzwords “knowledge economy” for a decade, without any apparent understanding of what this actually means. Rapid exchange of information and ideas already means the difference between the survival and the demise of a business. Speed and versatility of data exchange will become ever more vital in the years to come. National should ignore all the naysayers for their own good.
This puts my argument rather succinctly. thanks to MacDoctor
New Zealand is a very small country with a spread out population served by an oligopoly of business interests. We already pay well over the odds for a spotty cell phone service and an oversubscribed, slow broadband service. While our telcos are doing a fair amount of investment, they tend to concentrate on city centers, leaving 20-30% of the nation to fend for themselves. I live on a lifestyle property in Auckland that is very close to a large housing estate and yet, up until two years ago, I could not get broadband except via satellite link (a miserable experience!). Even now there are many areas in central Auckland where I can’t get a cell phone signal, let alone a 3G signal. I consider that an abject market failure.
* Consumers are hardly using the speeds and caps available now.
That is because they are too expensive, too restrictive and oversubscribed. I can’t get the maximum speed from my connection most of the time, because contention rates (the number of people on a single line) are too high. So saying that consumers are not using the speed available now is rather like someone taping your mouth up and then commenting that you are not eating enough. And a data cap of 1Gb is tantamount to saying “no downloading or else” - it actively discourages people from using their internet connections for anything more than e-mail and a bit of surfing. It is exactly this restrictive, controlling attitude of Telcos that the broadband policy is aimed at.
* Fibre to the home may prove to be the wrong technology, a Think Big-style white elephant.
This is the same argument as those who put off buying a new computer, because “something better will be along in a few months”. They wind up using ancient, time-wasting old technology out of fear that they won’t have “the latest stuff”. Put this mind-set into the Telco context and we will still be using copper wire while the first world is using quantum oscillation for data transfer.
* And home is where we consume things, not produce them, so the productivity-based arguments are rickety.
I have been struggling dealing with educational beauracrats about online learning. My thinking seems to be like bashing my head agamnist a wall. This article by blogger MacDoctor ? puts my thoughts rather succinctly.
This statement illustrates a serious lack of vision. As bandwidth increases, the number of uses that bandwidth can be put to increases, exponentially. For example, imagine sufficient bandwidth for a full virtual reality school where kids can be taught one-on-one by real teachers, or a VR mall that can be browsed just like the real thing (not the appalingly flat, lifeless attempts of our current constrained bandwidth). It is perfectly feasible that most of our work can be done from home - VR house calls anyone? The decrease in transport cost alone would pay for fibre to the home and there would be the added benefit of a decrease in carbon dioxide emissions. And those are just a couple of ideas off the top of my head.
We have been using the buzzwords “knowledge economy” for a decade, without any apparent understanding of what this actually means. Rapid exchange of information and ideas already means the difference between the survival and the demise of a business. Speed and versatility of data exchange will become ever more vital in the years to come. National should ignore all the naysayers for their own good.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Cramps
Lux Interior, lead singer of The Cramps, passed away this morning due to an existing heart condition at Glendale Memorial Hospital in Glendale, California at 4:30 AM PST today. Lux has been an inspiration and influence to millions of artists and fans around the world. He and wife Poison Ivy’s contributions with The Cramps have had an immeasurable impact on modern music.
The Cramps emerged from the original New York punk scene of CBGB and Max’s Kansas City, with a singular sound and iconography. Their distinct take on rockabilly and surf along with their midnight movie imagery reminded us all just how exciting, dangerous, vital and sexy rock and roll should be and has spawned entire subcultures. Lux was a fearless frontman who transformed every stage he stepped on into a place of passion, abandon, and true freedom
The Cramps emerged from the original New York punk scene of CBGB and Max’s Kansas City, with a singular sound and iconography. Their distinct take on rockabilly and surf along with their midnight movie imagery reminded us all just how exciting, dangerous, vital and sexy rock and roll should be and has spawned entire subcultures. Lux was a fearless frontman who transformed every stage he stepped on into a place of passion, abandon, and true freedom
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